there is something out there
isn't there
just beyond my reach
in the quiet moments
the certainty is stark
so i keep busy
busy
very busy
some new wine
i have yet to taste
some new dream
i have yet to dream
some new life
i have yet to live
i sense it
feel it
want it
need it
but the ability to claim it
still as yet
falteringly
eludes me
i live well
good
fine
i'm ok
better than ok
but not yet fully
authentically
completely
alive
if i were free
absolutely free
everything would change
have to change
so i still pretend
the bars around me
are here
solely
for my own
safety
i save my dreams
for a future day
because safety
yet
still feels safe
security
yet
still feels
secure
i'm half ready
to fly
but the truth is
it's still a little easier
isn't it
to pretend
i don't want to
the day is not yet here
when the pain
to stay safe
closed up in the bud
is not more painful
than what it takes
to bloom
my heart is open
daring
pure
and true
but to let it be seen
completely seen
vulnerable
exposed
that takes courage
the kind of courage
that sits there
right there
just a little beyond
my reach
within the safety
of these bars
so i still hide
a little of myself
tucked away
for a future day
but my eyes
my eyes
they tell the truth
i haven't the words to share
