you make we want......

I don't know who you are 
and maybe I never will
but the very thought of you
makes me happy
brings me pleasure
not the erotic kind
where I am forced 
to sell my soul
eat too much
drink too much
bloat my body
for another taste
of your honey
it's a different kind
simpler, softer
the kind that makes me want
to plant a garden
pick fresh fruit
walk our dog
through wet and green
coastline trails
eat dates and pecans
figs and walnuts
food of the gods
primordial
like our love
this morning, lying in bed
early rays of light 
streaming in through my window
resplendent in the morning sun
I suddenly realized
in a burst of clarity
that you didn't exist
you would think 
I would have been sad
empty
but instead I wandered 
outdoors
alone
full 
seeking the perfect spot
to plant our garden
all three of us
once again 
together 

No Other......

ocean waves
barking dogs
lizards
geckos
You
this is why i'm here
the life unlived
waiting
taunting
harassing
cajoling
i am here
not because this is
an ending
as i once romantically
believed
but because this is
the beginning
a place to formulate
create
all that hasn't been
all that's yet to be
sickness
pain
disease
always the teacher
the friend
disguised
as the enemy
cancer
ever eating its way
across our world
shouting
wake up
shouting
I'm here
don't go back
to sleep
kindness
patience
acceptance
sprouting beneath
decay
i used to think
i had a world
to save
a planet
to protect
i finally realize
she's ok
she will always survive
even if in
another form
unrecognizable
to the
unrecognizable
me