Nothing and Nowhere.....

every time
i'm absolutely certain
100%
completely certain
i know what this life is about
i find out once again
it certainly wasn't that

and every time
i get to somewhere
(for real!)
i'm brought right back
to nowhere
and every time
i find something
(tangible!)
i'm brought right back
to nothing
so nothing and nowhere then
are the only two things
i really know for sure
about this life
and i know them so intimately!
i'm so perfectly aware
of these two things!

so maybe this means
i already know
everything single thing
i need to know
about this life..

but somehow
but somehow
i don't think so.

Yes! - a poem for You.......

i have never
ever
Ever
been truly
and utterly
fearless
safety nets have adorned my life
like other women wear jewelry
carefully selected for the moment
dependent on circumstances
the outer appearance
of "ok"ness
being of utmost importance
so i chose a father
and then i chose a husband
that taught me daily
exactly
perfectly
and precisely
how to say No
I can only ever once
Once!
remember saying Yes
and having it really be the truth
it was that night in Mexico
when He brought me to my knees
and held me there
ransomed
with Love
for days and days on end
until the words finally screamed
from dry parched lips
sobs and hiccups and half-laughs
more like a frightened rabbit
being hunted by a fox
finally collapsing
only to realize the fox was no longer there
and had it really ever been?
so that was not a choice then
was it
are words that come from screams
ever really
and truly
a choice?
but with you
with you
my Love
i want my Yes
to be fully
and completely
a whisper
so soft
i must repeat it daily
over
and over
and over once again
until it forms the very backdrop of music
to our unadorned
naked
lives
together
continually
over
and over
and over once again
whispering:
Yes

Thoughts on Hesitation

i thought to write out this morning some thoughts i had on "hesitation"

they came to me during the night while i wrestled with my own demon, which is:

the difference between moving through a fear and just going for it (even something radical to our own safe world), or instead, listening to our own small still voice, which often means we need to wait, patiently wait, until the clear answer presents itself.....  in any of it's often elusive forms.

there is no right way of the two, there is only the choice that must be made....action or inaction.

and both ways are appropriate at different times.  but both ways are not necessarily appropriate at ALL times.

there are all kinds of medicines in the natural world, for us to use, and as of late i have been pondering them.....  which medicine to use, in each moment, in each precise time, when one must make that decision, between action and inaction, a strong movement forward, or a split second of hesitation, which signals we have no choice but to wait.

for if we go forward, with that hesitancy in our minds, who and what are we really following?  is not the feeling of hesitancy possibly our very proof, that the timing is most certainly not "now"?

we have to make the choice:  accept the medicine of speed, like a hummingbird, hovering and moving, flitting here and there, backward and forward, sideways and angled.... ever on the move to nectar, sweetness and joy.....

or the medicine of ant, slow and methodical, instinctually understanding the outcome we seek will never come to fruition without patience, dedication, and a clear understanding of non-urgency; the power of mindfully building the blocks to pave our own way.

and what is hesitation anyway?  but the complete unfolding of our truth, the wrestling with our own demons, until the ones that no longer serve us fall away, and the ones that still crack us open moment by moment, are honoured and given their still rightful place.

how can we fight a demon that hasn't yet demonstrated it's purpose to us?  would to push it away not simply demand it's resurface at a later time?  like an antibiotic, dealing with the symptom, instead of the deep seated dis-ease within our bodies...

is hesitation itself, in fact, not the complete acceptance of the moment, as it is, without trying to change anything, propel it forward, fix it, or mend it?  is it not the allowing of the enormity of the full truth to emerge at it's own time, speed, and perfect unflowering?

what would it feel like to no longer judge our own hesitancy, or others?

Poem: "A Third Stage Woman"

something opens within me
that can never be closed again
a vulnerability
so wildly exposed
that only You
have the grace
to recognize me
this absolute and utter aloneness
seems to be what will be
for now
and today at the least
and possibly tomorrow
and the tomorrow after that
trust
seems the only way through this

but this aloneness
is not to be confused with loneliness
one is so magnificently powerful
that i am brought to my knees
arms outstretched to the heavens
tears steaming down my cheeks
and the other
so completely debilitating
that i am once again
brought to my knees
arms outstretched to the heavens
tears streaming down my cheeks

so much of the spiritual path looks like this
completely paradoxical
the old way and the new way
so seemingly identical
as to be indiscernible to the uneducated eye
and yet
the inward experience
so completely different
as to be inconceivable
that both could be experienced in the same body

it reminds me of a first and third stage relationship
codependent versus interdependent
for to the untrained eye
there is no way to decipher the difference
in both instances
the woman will appear to be serving her man
but the inner experience
of the radiant third stage woman
is so entirely different from the servitude of the first
that she would herself be confounded
as to be deemed serving anything
other than pure Source

but now second stage
this is a whole other matter
there is no confusion here
this is the woman serving solely herself
and this is vital and true and fully necessary
in her progression from codependence
to the liberation of interdependence
which will in truth look markedly the same
but will be utterly and completely
different from the other

and women all over the world
will continue to try
to circumnavigate this second stage
for this is the stage that completely confounds us
scares, bewilders, and terrifies us
we freeze and we become like statues
unable to move for fear of our complete and certain death
but truly the day will come
when we will discover for ourselves
there is no way to the other side
but through

and these women that dare
to extricate from the masses
and live a life fully and utterly alone
at least for a time
they will appear callous and cold
self centred
uncaring
aloof and withdrawn
and the fear of full and complete independence
will be etched in every crevice of their skin
every gesture of their body
will scream it's pending annihilation
but surely one day
they will learn to dance
and surely one day
they will dare to venture
out through the field
past the confines and fences
they built around their very selves

and to those women
i send you love today
for you are exactly where you need to be
truly enroute to the Divine
to the day where you will once again
serve your lover
this time with your heart
open, exposed, vulnerable and free
your service now offered with true joy
this new bliss of co-creation with the masculine
now marked on the very same skin

but the road will not be easy
for the men of the world will not trust you
you will be rare and precious and true
and the very thing that the masculine craved
now standing right in front of him
once accepted and received
because he so fully needed it
will now be pushed away
untrustable in the face of it's luminosity
denied in the face of it's offering
unacceptable in the face of it's freedom

for who can trust a woman that needs nothing in return
and who can trust a woman that gives of herself
so freely
with nothing asked but his love
his worship
his loyalty
his reverence
his admiration
his complete and absolute unshakable commitment
all of these things that cost nothing
and yet, they are far too much to ask
aren't they.....

Link to Nico Canon

I'm not one so much for sharing links
my whole point with blogging is to create my own reality
not share someone else's
but
BUT
i love Nico Canon
he has been a mentor for years....
here is an old post of his i wanted to share today:

www.nicocanon.com

Make your f*cking bed!

If I was able to give a piece of advice to my younger self, this would be it:

Make your fucking bed!

Literally and figuratively.

When we start growing up there is a time where we become old enough to start taking small responsibilities. We are no longer babies… we are big boys now and there comes one of our first daily quests: to make our bed.
Surprisingly most of us grow old without ever caring about it, complaining to our parents, not giving it the importance it should have. ‘Why should I make my bed if I will have to sleep on it again later on, what’s the point?’ some of us might have said. Most of the people I know have reached ‘adulthood’ and have yet to learn to make their own bed.

But it’s only a bed! Well, not quite, I have now realized that it is much deeper than that. It is not the bed itself but what it symbolizes. How are we supposed to conquer the world, to engage in a relentless pursuit of excellence as leaders, as men… if we cannot take care of the first and smallest detail of our day-to-day life. How presumptuous to think we are grown men, worthy of the love of beautiful women, worthy of wealth and abundance, when we haven’t yet made the transition from being little boys.

We have forgotten to make our bed! day after day! we no longer pay attention to the small details and habits that form our character. Jim Rohn once said “Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn’t going to get the job done”, there are things that must be done on a daily basis. Indeed EVERYTHING in life is a process of summing up all the small details, repeated day after day. There is no such thing as a big change, as ‘the bigger picture’ for if we look closely most overnight successes took a really long time.

So here is my call to all of you: Make your fucking bed!

Make your spiritual bed: Be grateful, wake up with a positive mindset, commit every morning to give as much of your true self as you can, meditate, take small breaks throughout the day to be thankful for all your blessings, be present every moment, if you’re talking to someone give them your undivided attention. Smile. Share your damn happiness with the world!

Make your love bed: First of all love yourself, have integrity, set standards, commit to not settling down for less than you deserve, be open to meet new people, be bold and honest about your intentions, seek beauty in the world, love all women, respect all women, fall in love, tell her how beautiful she is everyday, share your passion with her, seduce her minute by minute. Love unconditionally. Share your love and passion for the world. Ravish your woman!

Make your manhood bed: Kill the boy inside, make no apologies for what you want, take full responsibility for every single action, respect others and demand respect, have impeccable integrity, mean what you say and say what you mean no matter what, live your purpose, be a leader, be protective, if you don’t know what your calling is ask yourself as often as you can, do everything with passion and focus, ALWAYS move forward, have conviction in your decisions. Own your feelings. Show up. Fight your battles until you have given it all.. then, and only then, take a breath and keep on going!

Our experiences in life are nothing but a result of the compound sum of small details and habits that we chose to take. .

So this is my call to all of you: Let’s wake up every morning and let’s decide to make our own beds! let’s yell out loud: I am responsible for how my life will look like! I will stand confident for the rest of this day and I will keep on moving forward for I know I have left nothing to luck!

It is that simple.

Make your bed or go back to your crib.

(Please Share if you know any ‘man’ or boy who could benefit from making his own bed)

Share :)