This philosophy of archetypes is founded on the ideas of Carl Jung, who originated the idea of archetypes as being patterns of behaviours and thoughts that exist in every man, no matter of your circumstances... Moore took these ideas and translated them into the development of the mature masculine energy, believing that without the balancing of these four archetypes, it would be near to impossible for the modern man to flourish into a mature masculine healthy state.
Moore believes that the problem with the modern man is not that he needs to develop his feminine side more, but that he actually needs to mature his masculine side more. Mature is the key word here. It's not about becoming more masculine, as this can frequently look like aggression, violence, inability to access emotions, aloofness, anger, etc. - but instead to mature the masculine side...
Moore believes that because of the immaturity of the modern man's masculinity, they are often told to develop their softer, more nurturing feminine side as a means to compensate, which simply leads to an even greater imbalance. Moore is quick to share that developing the feminine side in a man is very healing and important, but often comes at the expense of maturing the masculine, and when doing so, leads to an immature and weak man... This same immature and weak man may also use coping mechanisms to compensate for his weakness, leading to further compounded problems.
Moore believes that men need to balance all four of these archetypal energies equally. He sees each one as a triangle with the peak being the fullest expression, and the two bottom corners being the bi-polar dysfunctional shadows. For example, the dysfunctions of the King archetype are the tyrant and the weakling.
I found an incredible website that goes into great detail regarding all four of these archetypes, how to balance them, how they look when unbalanced, and how they look when balanced. It is a must read! Because of the magnificence of this website, i will not go into full details here, instead i urge you to read this site after you are finished reading my post: (look about half way down the page)
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/10/04/the-four-archetypes-of-the-mature-masculine-the-lover/
Of all of the energies, the King energy is the most important of the energies, as in order to fully balance the King - the Warrior, the Lover and the Magician must have all already been balanced. The King is centred, present, decisive, and he lives with full integrity. He is confident and has a strong sense of purpose. He remains steadfast in the midst of disorder. He responds with authenticity and strength. He does not dominate or domineer, but acts from a place of true leadership.
When the King energy is not balanced or matured, he can sway between the bi-polar expressions of either the weakling or the tyrant. As the tyrant, he may feel he is the centre of the universe or more important than anyone else... He is willing to walk over his friends and family in order to reach his own potential... As a weakling, this man will become cruel and abusive in order to compensate for his feelings of weakness. He thinks everyone is out to get him, which often is the case, because he is so cruel, manipulative and narcissistic. The Art of Manliness website says under every tyrant is a weakling waiting to explode.
The information in this book was huge for me.... As I've gone through and navigated the single years since my marriage ended in 2006, i have been waiting and dreaming of the arrival of this most present, balanced, strong yet caring man, that would somehow magically show up in my life, and want to share his life with me... I haven't found him... I haven't even seen him! I mean, really, where are these men? And forget about me, i mean, fine, let's just say I'm not the kind of girl these amazing balanced masculine men are looking for.... But nearly all of my women friends are single as well! And these are incredible women, these are the kind of women that men should be snapping up like flies.... But they're not. These women are not willing to date any man, they are not willing to settle, they are fully capable of waiting out however long it might take in order to draw into their life a fully mature and balanced masculine man.
A few months ago, i dated what i had thought was my soul mate, and he left me as quickly as he arrived. He had a thousand reasons for leaving me: i was not enough for him, i was not far enough along my path, i was too emotional, too dramatic, my glass was half full, and on and on.... Since this happened, i have wondered and wondered about this.... For i know we could have been good together, i know my glass is more than half full, i know my path is strong, i know i am balanced, centred, awake, and present.... What was it then, within me, or within himself, that caused him to run from something with such potential for greatness as what we had together?
Through reading this book, and studying the qualities of the Magician energy, i came to discover one of the energies in my soul mate that may not have been completely balanced... This is what Moore says about the unbalanced Magician:
“This is the man who thinks too much, who stands back from his life and never lives it. He is caught in a web of pros and cons about his decisions and lost in a labyrinth of reflective meanderings from which he cannot extricate himself. He is afraid to live, to ‘leap into battle.’ He can only sit on his rock and think. The years pass. He wonders where the time has gone. And he ends by regretting a life of sterility. He is a voyeur, an armchair adventurer. In the world of academia, he is a hairsplitter. In the fear of making the wrong decision, he makes none. In his fear of living, he also cannot participate in the joy and pleasure that other people experience in their lived lives. If he is withholding from others, and not sharing what he knows, he eventually feels isolated and lonely. To the extent that he has hurt others with his knowledge and technology—in whatever field and in whatever way—by cutting himself off from living relatedness with other human beings, he has cut off his own soul.”
This was my soul mate! This was exactly what i had been trying to put into words... I mean, he really wanted this life with me, and we could have had it together... But he couldn't commit to me, to us, to what we might have to go through together at the start, in order to be magical together. Instead of using his energy to create magic he tore me and us apart... I believe he was so scared to make the wrong decision, that i might be the wrong girl for him, that he might not be happy with me, etc. etc., that he did the easiest thing he could do at the time: walk away.
The Warrior would not have walked away. The Warrior would have fought for me and for us both. The Warrior would have stayed loyal to what we were creating together, something that was larger than each of us were individually.
Learning more about the Lover archetype next was also very meaningful for my understanding of this loss of my soul mate... This is what the Art of Manlihood says about the Lover:
The Impotent Lover shadow arises when a man is out of touch with the Lover archetype in its fullness. While the Lover in his fullness sees the world in vivid colors and textures, the Impotent Lover only sees gray. Men dogged by the Impotent Lover archetype feel depressed, flat, and dead inside. Nothing brings them joy anymore. They’ve lost their passion for life. Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, struggle and falter for the man possessed by the Impotent Lover. Libido is non-existent in these men, as is their sex life.
While the Addicted Lover does not give himself enough structure, the Impotent Lover can arise in a man who disciplines himself too much. This is often the case with devoutly religious men, who, going far beyond the admonishments of their faith, laden themselves with overly prudish rules, and feel shame when “indulging” in life’s pleasures. The energy of the Lover archetype builds up behind this dam of limits, and without a healthy channel to pursue, sooner or later it bursts forth in destructive ways, like addiction to porn. The Impotent Lover becomes the Addicted Lover.
Holy Isanity! Already between the King, the Lover and the Warrior, I've covered nearly every single man i have ever dated.... What is happening with our men? Who is to take responsibility for creating and nurturing mature masculine men in this dynamic of a world we are currently living in?Don't get me wrong, i'm not claiming to have this all figured out, not by a long shot.... What i do know for sure, is that there are hundreds, no thousands of amazing women out in the world, conscious, awake, aware, beautiful, authentic, original, and yes, still single... And yet, for the most part, we still have the majority of men too scared to claim them, love them, protect them, honour them and fully cherish them.... Men that simply do not know how to let them be an authentic woman, encompassing all aspects of their feminine nature, and not back away from their glory....
This book is not an easy read - it was written for men and by men, so i wonder if that wasn't part of the problem in my efforts to read it... But the ideas presented are original, intriguing and changed my opinion and perception of men... I now understood that my lover was truly attempting to be authentic in the moment, he was truly trying to be on his truest path, he was truly trying to honour himself... By not fully integrating and balancing all aspects of himself, he quite simply was not able to fully show up for me, for himself, and for what we had dreams of creating together.
Right now, my soul mate and i should be together, we should be holding baby chickens, tending gardens, making love and sharing sunsets... We aren't.
I wouldn't doubt that if he somehow ever came across this post, it would simply give him more fuel for his fire... More data for his theories, more support for his beliefs... And really, at the end of the day, what do i know anyway.... Nothing for certain, that is for sure... I could be wrong. Yet i still fully believe those men are out there somewhere, those men that have balanced all aspects of themselves, those men that can sit in the flames of the fire of a woman, and not back down... Not run, and not seek shelter. Men that will experience an authentic woman, and still scream "yes" from the tops of the mountains... Men that are truly 100% ready and available to create, nurture and participate in a full and meaningful life with the woman of their dreams....
I will find you!!
Robyn
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