i was a vegetarian for 16 years, a vegan for 12 of those, a raw foodist for 10, and a fruitarian for 4. i came out of the experiments with no clear picture whatsoever of the correct diet for humans, or if there ever was such a thing designed.
there are only two things that for myself, i can say for sure, and for the world, i can say, it must be so! and such are these: if we are going to eat the flesh of any animal, then no suffering, poisoning, confinement, abuse, neglect or torture must have been done to them of any kind, especially for the sake of our enjoyment and consumption. and two: our foods must be natural and whole ingredients, they must be made from living, evolving and organic ingredients that have no unnatural additives or preservatives contained within. and if i occupied offer a third, i would say: our diets should be simple and lean. light and without too many ingredients added at one time.
and i should also say, that we follow our souls in this regard. let the desires and needs rise to the surface, enter our consciousness, and then be made manifest by our intellect and physical abilities. i have heard this discussed through and through, and the concern is that what is to be made of our lower desires? how can we trust our desires come only from good and not from evil?
i have studied Thoreau like he had taken me on as his apprentice, his words have shaken me, cut me, bruised me, turned me inside out, back right again, and then lain me bare once again to the burning sun. and his thoughts i pass on to you here: should i have am impulse, a desire, a burning longing, and should i submit to this urge, this feeling from somewhere deep inside of me. and should this part of me come from the devil, and not from god, then still i should be content, and still i should be right with my choice. for i would rather be the daughter of the devil, living my true nature, following my souls longing, then the daughter of god, following the whims of those around me, never trusting the song i hear deep within me, straining to bulge forth from my abdomen, fighting let loose from the ropes i have tied around it.
and even if i should follow a whim, a fancy, an urge, and find out shortly after that i had gone awry, astray, askance, that too would be pure, that too would be true. for who is my very soul, but not the Gracious Mother, and not the Benevolent Theresa, gently guiding my path, but never forcing the way. welcoming me back home with open arms, each time i should return. seeing the rose bush far in advance, but knowing the encounter and not the avoidance is the learning, knowing she is my guide and not my protector.
there is no such thing as wrong, i cannot do any such thing. each experience is to be welcomed, warmed by the fire, mulled with spices, and drank long through the night. until the morning comes, and our exhaustion turns to understanding, our apathy to ecstasy, and our fear back to love.
for when at times, i take that road, that might lead me a little closer to hell, and at times, might drop me into my Dark Night of The Soul, what is that but an opportunity to bring some lightness to the dark. for where the devil resides, so to do i reside. and so to does god reside, and so to do you. i know this, for i have been there, over and over and over again. and each time, the hand of God has been there, to help me find the light. not to walk me to the light, for the light is already there, but only to help me find within myself the access to the light that already exists in that moment. for it is already there, and when i find it, and i can see a little clearer, i see that you are there too, and you are there too, and so are you, and you, and you. and there is a majestic table, full of goblets, platters and century only chairs. and we dine, and we drink, we laugh and we get drunk. drunk on pure love and pure truth, and the innate knowledge that only our very own soul will ever know what our own true nature is. and as we wobble and flail, finding out what this is, who we are, what nectar fills our blood, we know that the Surrogate Mother stands radiantly over our beds, watching us writhe and moan, her gentle hands smoothing our hair, her breath on our cheeks.
so we eat what we need to, and we follow the deep longings of our heart. we bear witness to our desires, filtering out what we know to be untrue. we learn from past experiences the path we will take in the future, and we allow our bodies the time they need to adjust, heal, cleanse and build. always knowing that the body is transitory anyway, and it's death started the moment it was born. and should it dissolve itself before the average term, before our intellect might think it is ready, our soul always knowing, that the choice was always Hers alone to make.
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