What Women Want-Is it too much or not enough!

we as women want it all. literally.  we want it all.

we want our men to have the perfect balance of masculinity and femininity.  we want them to prepare dinner and change the oil.  we want them to be warriors and then spend the night talking about our most intimate wants and feelings. we want them to know exactly when it is time to ask us what is wrong.  we want them to know exactly when it is time to ejaculate, when to move here, when to move there, how exactly to hold us when the lovemaking is over.

we are actresses on a stage, and they are our props.  we move them around as we need to, trying to make the story perfect.  

it is impossible.  we know it is impossible, and yet we try again, and again, and again, and again.  we are convinced one time eventually, we are going to create the exact story we have been dreaming of our entire lives. 

if it is before our deathbeds that we realize it is never going to happen, we must believe ourselves to be one of the rarest and luckiest of all women alive on this planet.  

for we have been sold a lie, we are living in a hell created solely by ourselves, our mothers, our teachers, our preachers, our friends, our forebears.  

this man does not exist, and to realize this is the very beginning of our entry to freedom.  for we do not exist in this way either.  so to realize that men are men, full of doubts and fears and imperfections, is to fully realize that we too are simply women, full of doubts and fears and imperfections.  to accept this in men, is to accept it in ourselves, is to accept it in the world.  this is not yet freedom, but it is enough of a taste as to keep us on the path, and the path is the dream, and the dream is of heaven, and heaven is of truth, and truth is of God.  and to find God, is to know God, and to know God, is to finally know ourselves.  

to love a man as he is, is to love ourselves as we are, is to love the world as it is, is to love nature as it is. once we are no longer trying to change men, we are no longer trying to change ourselves, we are no longer trying to change the world, we are no longer trying to change nature.  this is the beginning of peace.  this is the beginning of becoming a whole human being.

once there is nothing to change, this is when real meditation starts.  now we can meditate anywhere.  we no longer need a meditation room, with alters and incense and prayer beads.  any old forest will do, any old log, cafe, restaurant, train or plane. chatter and laugher, scorn and rage, nothing will come between us and our peace.  

once we see that our thoughts were never real, our dreams were never real, our ideals were never real, we are finally able to see that nothing at all is real.