wow, day 1 is over!
it always seems to be the hardest for me
wrapping my head around not eating for such a long period of time
seems so daunting and quite unattainable at first
this time feels so different though
i feel incredibly strong and sure of myself
so focused on my path to emotional, spiritual and physical healing
Dani and Estelle are the two other women cleansing with me
and they feel so strong and sure as well
this is super helpful
to cleanse in a community of strong warriors
Estelle even has a Chinese food dinner she needs to attend part way through the cleanse
and even though it seems a little scary and uncertain for her
she has decided she is not going to break the cleanse that night
in the past we have broken cleanses for this exact reason
special nights that need to be enjoyed
we have all done this at one time or another
and the reasons seem to make so much sense at the time
this cleanse is different though
all three of us feel it
we are committed to the journey together
we have committed to being warriors together
we have committed to no more excuses, no more illusions, no mare barriers
we had a long meeting of the minds on it this morning
on when to be a warrior and when to be gentle with ourselves
and we all agreed this is the time to rise up to the challenge
there will be other times in life when gentleness is called for
but not right now
this isn't the time
we are all ready for a shift
a movement out of old limiting patterns and beliefs
we have also agreed not take even one bite of fruit over the forty days
this is new as well
in the past, when feeling like I'm going to lose it, I've allowed myself a few slices of oranges, or a few small bites of an apple
this has been a crutch I've leaned on to make it through long fasts
and so have the others here with me
all three of us have agreed it is time to move past this
there are no more crutches this time
all three of us are ready to discover and uncover our highest selves
live authentically in our own truth
discover our purpose for being here
and fully live that purpose
in every moment
i didn't feel sad today over the loss of my lover
there were moments of confusion for sure
where i wasn't sure that i had done the right thing
berating myself for once again walking away from a potential partnership
but each time when i sat with myself
i came back to my truth:
i am ready to give my partner all of me
and in return i ask for all of him
that takes complete trust
and I'm fully ready for that journey with another
if anything i feel excited
I'm so ready to let go
be free
live my life in a state of joy
and if this means i do it alone
then so be it
because i can only imagine
evolved conscious relationships are hard enough
when both people are completely on board
much less when one of them is holding pieces of themselves back
due to fear, scarcity, lack, doubt, confusion, distrust, and on and on and on.....
and so as i shift myself, i move into a new energy field
i now start attracting different men
i now start being attracted myself to different men
i no longer have to change anyone but myself
i feel like I've gone on a permanent life vacation!
imagine co-creating a life with a man that actually authentically
YEARNS with every bit of his being to co-create a life with me as well
i can barely even conjure this up inside of me!
I've never even come close to attracting this kind of energy into my life
and this whole time I've thought there were just no evolved men left
they were all either in partnership, celibate or too remote to find
well, there are!
they are out there
it is only me that has to shift
and i feel it happening ready
i feel my energy aligning with Source
i feel the support of Source lifting me up
taking me to the wondrous places
i had never even imagined i could go to
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