Day 30: Full Moon

today was finally a whole bunch better than the past few days have been
i made a huge batch of broth soup
and drank that for most of the day
i made Dani and Estelle a mint, Granny Smith apple and pear juice
which they really enjoyed as a change
we also made our favourite: pineapple and orange juice this morning
i can't believe we have only 10 days left
for some people this time frame left without food would seem a lifetime!
but for me today, it feels like we are on the home stretch

i felt a deep sense of change and letting go within me today
I've been watching some movies on netflix throughout the cleanse
which isn't my normal way to spend time at all....
i have no regrets, i watched some amazing movies!
many documentaries, critically a claimed foreign films
some more traditional movies i would never normally see....
but today i cancelled my membership
it is time for me to start living my life again
the past 30 days have been such a time of "going under"
deep within myself
laying low
resting, taking it easy
today i saw how it was time to put this stretch behind me

i leave for mexico in exactly three weeks
and today was the full moon
the day my life intentions are signed sealed and delivered
this feels true
Bruce and i have said our final good byes in the past few days
an ex-partner of mine seems to be finding his own path now
without the need to keep me in his life
i feel like my life is freeing itself up
for a new start
i pulled out my spanish books again today
starting to study once again for my return to "home"

i don't know exactly yet what my future holds
but i know it includes mexico
and i know that i feel ready
I'm going to start going for my daily walks/jogs again
for the remainder of my time left here in Canada
i feel ready now to start rebuilding my strength and stamina up
21 days feels like a good length of time to commit to this process
a part of me feels some sadness
moving forward in life often brings some discomfort within my physical body
and my emotional body too
i often resist change
preferring to stay "stuck", it feels a whole lot easier!

yet it ultimately isn't
change is constant and unavoidable
when i stay stuck, it is actually more work than it is to grow
because i am resisting the natural progression of my soul
my soul longs to fly
and when i clip it's wings too short
i stagnate on the ground
and i get lost in the world
today i feel ready to soar